I refuse to mourn the death of a pedophile. I feel sorry for his children. I feel sorry for the delusional fans who still follow him. As far as he is concerned, burn in hell kid fucker.
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Random Musings
or What I do after everyone else is asleep
20 April 2009 @ 01:05 am
More and more I am just part of the woodwork. Around but barely noticed. I am constantly on some one else's time schedule, trying to fit in to their "window". Then when I so much as express slight frustration, it is as if I have done something wrong, as if something is wrong with me. I look around and realize how much in my life is not mine. I realize how many of the leftovers and hand me downs I receive, materialistically and emotionally. Yet I am not supposed to be upset and if I am there must be something wrong with me. But wait, who am I trying to kid, it's not about me, it's never been about me, it will never be about me.
12 April 2009 @ 01:33 am
So I got to explain Easter to the boys this evening. I imagine to services at my brother-in-law's church tomorrow (SO THRILLED) that I will have more deprogramming explaining to do. I told them about Jesus and the cross and the empty tomb. When PJ asked me why the Easter Bunny hides the eggs I told him it was so that nobody would find out that he was fucking the chicken. My darling wife didn't find that so funny, especially at the dinner table. Actually I told him about the Babylonian goddess of fertility. I also explained the whole springtime rebirth concept. Now I am being told that I must go to bed so that the Easter Bunny can come. I didn't even know she wanted me to call her that.
18 March 2009 @ 08:45 pm
I stayed home today because it hurt too much to walk. I had done something to my back over the weekend and it just kept getting worse through out the week. While communicating w/ my darling wife today she informed that the neighbor across the street might be stopping by with some items for the Cub Scout Pack meeting this evening. At around 2:30 there was a knock at the door. When I opened the door it was my neighbor's husband, the chiropractor. He said "I hear that you are broken. Be at my place at 3:45". At 3:45 I walked, I use that term rather loosely, across the street. After a few minutes of pushing, pulling, twisting and popping, I was able to walk pain free. I have always been skeptical of chiropractors. This is the second time I have been adjusted by a chiropractor. Both times have been by him and I can say that with the way I am feeling now, I understand why people would get this done on a regular basis.
13 March 2009 @ 12:26 pm
Today is the last day for the Director of Call Center Operations here at Checks Unlimited. Monday she will begin her new position as the Executive Director for T.E.S.S.A. This last week has been filled with tears, hugs, luncheons, farewells, good luck and good byes. Connie Brachtenbach is one of the people in this world whom I truly respect. She is an example of strength and leadership, especially during troubling times. She is the type of leader I strive to be. But this week has been more than the celebration of the career of a great woman, it has been a celebration of choice. At least once a month since September, we have witnessed some sort of a layoff. We have watched as our friends and colleagues have quietly and discreetly been shuffled out the door. We have watched as their belongings were boxed up and taken away. We have had to send emails, make phone calls, and text to say good bye. That is what has made this week so special. Connie made the choice to leave. She is leaving the business on her time schedule, with grace and dignity. We've been able to say good bye, farewell and good luck. We've been able to share tears, and laughs and hugs. This has been the best sad week ever.
07 February 2009 @ 12:19 am
Why does no one ever say "Bless You" or "gesundheit" when I sneeze? Seriously. Never. This may sound crazy but the failure of those around me to extend even this small little gesture makes me realize how insignificant I must be to them. I just have to remember that it's not about me, it's never been about me, it will never be about me. This mantra helps keep me sane.
Current Mood: 
depressed
depressed02 February 2009 @ 06:29 pm
When I was a kid my mom used to tell me to not sit too close to the the tv as it would ruin my eyes. Her definition of too close was 3 ft. I just told me son not to sit so close to the tv then I came down stairs to sit at my computer. Did I mention that the monitor on my computer and the monitor at work are roughly and arms length from my face. Am I ruining my eyes? If not then my mom lied.
22 January 2009 @ 05:37 pm
16 January 2009 @ 05:42 pm
And they were singing, Bye Bye all you anon guys....
pointed my browser to Youtube and the flaming trolls cried
And the noobs were looking for that goatse guy, saying this the how the Rickroll died, this is how the rickroll died.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/tweetmeme/our-ta
pointed my browser to Youtube and the flaming trolls cried
And the noobs were looking for that goatse guy, saying this the how the Rickroll died, this is how the rickroll died.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/tweetmeme/our-ta
16 January 2009 @ 04:44 pm
I just came from the memorial service for the mother of a friend of mine. I decided I do not want one. I don't want some religious figure pretending to know me from the notes he took while talking to my family. And I don't want flowers. My great grandmother had a saying, "Send the flowers before the funeral.". In other words, say the nice things now, let people know how you care and how special they are to you. Let them know of the impact they have had on your life. When I die, I want good food, good music and free liquor for all, even the minors. I want people to celebrate my life.
12 January 2009 @ 06:23 pm
I know, I know two things like this in the last few days, just shut up and play along. I am trying to make my LJ more interactive and user friendly.
Scattegories rules:
Hit leave a comment, Copy the questions into your post, Erase my answers, Enter yours, and then copy it on to your lj page. Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real places, names, and things. Nothing made up! try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You cannot use your name for the boy/girl name question.
1. What is your name: Paul
2. A 4 Letter Word: Piss
3. A Boys Name: Peter
4. A Girls Name: Polly
5. An Occupation: Porn Star
6. A Color: Purple
7. Something you wear: Pajamas
8. A Beverage: Pepsi
9. A Food: Peanut Butter
10. Something found in the bathroom: Pee
11. A place: Peru
12. A Reason for being late: Pregnancy
13. Something you shout: Peckerwood!!!!!!
11 January 2009 @ 10:43 pm
Occasionally we are faced with decisions where someone will be hurt based upon the outcome. I generally try to choose the option that causes no pain. Yestersol i was presented with a true double edged sword, damned if I do, damned if I don't situation. I was IMing with my 14 year old niece. To be honest it made me feel 19 again because she is very much like her mother. During our chat, she said some things that led me to ask "Are you cutting?". Her response was one of neither denial nor affirmation. As our conversation continued it became apparent that the answer was yes. She asked me not to tell her mom (my kid sister). I explained that I loved her too much not to tell my sister, but I respected her too much not to let her do it first. I then asked when she would tell her mom. She told me she would last night after her younger siblings were in bed. I asked her to IM or email me and let me know how it went.
By 6:30 tosol I had neither IM nor email from her, so decided to call. I knew that if she hadn't told her mom, I would be betraying my niece's trust. I was afraid of doing this if she felt as if I was some one she could confide. I was afraid that if I didn't call my sister would be extremely upset, and rightfully so, that I had withheld this information from her. When I called my niece answered and I asked if she had talked to her mom, she said that she had. When I talked to my sister she said that my niece had not mentioned cutting and that it sounded as if she needed to have a talk with her. Shortly after the phone call I got an IM from my niece which said, and I quote "What the Heck, I thought you were going to let me tell her?" Apparently when I asked my niece"Did you talk to your mom" she thought I said Can I talk to your mom. I know she is hurt and I know she is upset, but hopefully she will realize that I love her too much to not say anything.
By 6:30 tosol I had neither IM nor email from her, so decided to call. I knew that if she hadn't told her mom, I would be betraying my niece's trust. I was afraid of doing this if she felt as if I was some one she could confide. I was afraid that if I didn't call my sister would be extremely upset, and rightfully so, that I had withheld this information from her. When I called my niece answered and I asked if she had talked to her mom, she said that she had. When I talked to my sister she said that my niece had not mentioned cutting and that it sounded as if she needed to have a talk with her. Shortly after the phone call I got an IM from my niece which said, and I quote "What the Heck, I thought you were going to let me tell her?" Apparently when I asked my niece"Did you talk to your mom" she thought I said Can I talk to your mom. I know she is hurt and I know she is upset, but hopefully she will realize that I love her too much to not say anything.
Current Mood: 
worried
worried09 January 2009 @ 10:06 pm
I have not had a cigarette in two days. I have had no withdrawal symptoms, no cravings, no mood swings. How am I doing it you may ask. The answer is www.puresmoker.com I am in love with this thing. I get the sensation of holding something, the hand to mouth action, the pleasurable feeling of the inhale, the sight of the exhale and NICOTINE. No burning tobacco means no smoke, no tar, no carbon monoxide, no carcinogens. I am truly enjoying "vaping". On Jan. 7 the afternoon talk show The Doctors listed this as number 9 in their top 10 health innovations for 2009.
I am currently using the Marlboro cartridges from PureSmoker right now but a have a sample pack of 10 liquid refills from www.johnsoncreeksmokejuice.com which includes flavors such as Mint Chocolate, Vanilla Ice Cream, and Peach Cobbler to name a few. Kids it's Friday and I am in love.
I am currently using the Marlboro cartridges from PureSmoker right now but a have a sample pack of 10 liquid refills from www.johnsoncreeksmokejuice.com which includes flavors such as Mint Chocolate, Vanilla Ice Cream, and Peach Cobbler to name a few. Kids it's Friday and I am in love.
08 January 2009 @ 08:07 pm
Welcome to the new 2009 edition of getting to know your family and friends. Here is what you are supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the fun. Copy this and change all the answers to apply to you. Then paste it
into a response to me and post it on your lj site also. Have fun and be truthful!
1. What is your occupation right now?
Training Manager and All Around Good Guy
2. What color are your socks right now?
Olive
3. What are you listening to right now?
The sound of little feet POUNDING on the floor as they run around upstairs
4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Smoked Sausage in a BBQ sauce and a nive vegetable medley
5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Yes
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Vickie
7. Favorite Ice Cream?
Phish Phood
8. How old are you today?
36
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
Hockey
10. What is your favorite drink?
Rockstar Zero Carb, Maker's Mark and water, Grey Goose and tonic
11. Have you ever shaved your pubic area?
Yes on a regular basis. Helps me swim faster.
12. Favorite food?
Anything Mediterrean
13. What is the last movie you watched?
Hellboy II, and it fucking sucked.
14. Favorite day of the year?
Any day in which I wake up is pretty good
15. How do you vent anger?
Plot sweet sweet revenge and then come up with horribly mean, hurtful things to say, loudly rant and stomp around for several minutes, realize that I probably have no reason to be angry, have a smoke and a smile and then I shut the fuck up.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child?
My teddy bear, Christador.
17. What is your favorite season?
Fall
18. Cherries or Blueberries?
Blueberries
19. Have you ever fantasized about any of your friends?
Yes, all the time.
20. Who is the most likely to complete this?
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
maribou21. Who is least likely to respond?
People who don’t read this
22. Living arrangements?
House filled with 1 wife, 2 children, 2 cats and whole lotta love.
23. When was the last time you cried?
January 5th when I found out my good friend's mother had passed away
24. What is on the floor of your closet?
Shoes and clothes that have fallen off the hangers, whip and handcuffs
25. Protection or bareback?
Depends on the course I am playing
26. What did you do last night
Cub Scouts and the Grocery Run
27. What are you most afraid of?
Losing that which I hold dear
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
Le Royale avec Fromage pour moi.
29. Favorite dog breed?
Golden Retriever
30. Favorite day of the week?
Sunday
31. How many states have you lived in?
3 (Colorado, Alaska and a constant state of confusion)
32. Diamonds or pearls?
Pearls. I especially love giving pearl necklaces.
33. What is your favorite flower?
My Natalie Rose
04 November 2008 @ 10:29 pm
31 October 2008 @ 09:10 pm
I got chocolate from an actual witch today. Talk about great Halloween juju!!!
28 October 2008 @ 09:25 pm
The esteemed raisinbottom just paid us a visit. Our conversation turned to astronomy and the lesson began. It was great. He showed my darling wife and I Jupiter with his binoculars. Then he showed PJ. He explained to PJ how to use his fists to measure degrees. He also explained how astronomers use a lot of math and how they look for new planets. He helped us get PJ's telescope set up. Unfortunately the clouds were not privy to our plan so they blocked our attempts at viewing Jupiter. raisinbottom also downloaded Stellarium for us, which the boys were immensely fascinated with. It was the perfect end to an evening that had already included two Charlie Brown specials. The boys are very excited and PJ made me promise him that we would try to use his telescope tomorrow night after Cub Scouts.
23 October 2008 @ 07:14 pm
I have once again returned from my annual hunting trip. My animal loving friends need not be worried, for the elk population of the Gunnison region was in no way diminished by myself nor those in my party. There were some animal highlights though. For the first time ever I saw a bear in the wilds of Colorado. In my youth, when I lived in Alaska, this was a common occurrence. Since coming to Colorado i had only seen them in peoples backyards or sticking out of dumpsters. I had forgotten the thrill that comes with seeing one in the wild. We stood there awestruck as we watched him disappear into the woods. Also on this trip I got to see a bald eagle majestically soaring over the river. Although the goal of the week was not met, I still would deem the trip successful.
Current Mood: 
mellow
mellow28 September 2008 @ 05:48 pm
Friday night my darling wife and I were watching the presidential debate. Our 4 year, Nick, came in and asked what we were watching. We told him. He immediately looked at the tv and said "That's Rock Obama" (he's 4). Then John McCain appeared on the screen and he said "That's John McTain, I want to watch this" and plopped down on the couch. My darling wife asked him which candidate he preferred and he said "I like Rock Obama". She then asked him why and he replied "Because he talks better than John McTain". He then sat and quietly watched the rest of the debate with us.
22 September 2008 @ 09:42 pm
1) How old were you?
THEN: 25
NOW: 35
2) What was your online presence?
THEN: Email
NOW: LJ, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, T-Nation, IH8Mud, CO4X4.
3) Where did you work?
THEN: Hearthstone Inn, Front Desk Clerk
NOW: Direct Checks Unlimited, Lead Career Developer
4) Where did you live?
THEN: 1 bedroom, 1 bath, 500 sq ft Apartment in Colorado Springs
NOW: 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath house in CS
5) Who did you live with?
THEN: My Darling Wife
NOW: My Darling Wife, The Boys, Midnight, and Morgen
6) How was your health?
THEN: Overweight, Out of Shape, Rapidly approaching Diabetes
NOW: Less Over weight (actually weigh less than when I graduated High School), Much better shape, Slowly approaching Physical Fitness
7) What pets did you have?
THEN: none
NOW: Midnight and Morgen
8) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse/S.O.
THEN: My Darling Wife
NOW: My Darling Wife
9) Any kids? Any plans for kids?
THEN: None, but we were trying
NOW: Two wonderful, amazing, incredible boys
10) What was your worst struggle?
THEN: Paying Rent
NOW: Getting the Boys to help with chores
11) What was your biggest joy?
THEN: My Darling Wife
NOW: My Darling Wife and the Boys
12) What did you consider your greatest accomplishment?
THEN: Still feeling like a newlywed after 4 years of marriage
NOW: Still feeling like a newlywed aftwer 2 kids and 14 years of marriage
13) What advice would you give your younger self?
So you know that thing? Yeah that one. Be patient and oh it is cooler than you could imagine.
14) What would your younger self say to you?
Dude. Seriously? You wouldn't fuck with me would you? Tell me all about it. Please.
15) Looking back, is your life what you thought it would be in 2008?
The only long term goal I ever had was to be a husband and a father, so this is how I hoped it would be.